Inspiration to help you find your own way
Inspiration to help you find your own way
I hope this email finds you well. Deep in summer surrender and enjoying all the delights of being outside!
I am settling into my new home. Still finding my rhythm- with everything! I love my stone home though inside and out. Every room has a purpose and nurtures my desire for sacred space that serves me to renew, restore and serve.
The deer and bear in the pics below are regular visitors to our yard. There is a crow community that lives high in the tree tops and all the way around my home.
Numerous other glorious animals to mention; reptile and rodents included visit regularly! There are also many adventures to be had as well on nearby trails, beaches and with colorful neighbors.
Usually the summer is my high time, I am productive, social and participating on levels.
Not this year.
My business transition has my flow slower. This obviously has pros and cons, but I know its temporary.
And exactly 1 week ago I was hit with ongoing high fevers, chills and tremendous pain everywhere especially in my head and organs. The first 6 days were as its sounds awful. The last few days seem more like a slow recovery process from the previous 6 days and the mornings and nights are the most difficult now. Today is my first day back in front of a computer and its only to touch base with you.
I don't engage allopathic medicine, ever.
My physical disease was to be done consciously and let my body inform me of something deeper going in my subconscious, something ready for my loving attention. I did my best to assist it with water, breath and now with natural supplements and procedures provided me by my sister circle.
I didn't realize at the time I had entered this process with my body, the moon was entering its Dark Moon phase and during this time while having very high fevers I had visions and vivid dreams, it was like I was I the bowels of my subconscious mind. And, that's very dark and not fun!
As the moon moved into the "New Moon" phase I was still cycling high fevers, tremendous pain and now in a deep recapitulation of my previous visions and dreams.
During this phase, a resident Elder Crow came and sat outside my bedroom window. He invited me to journey, which I initially resisted. I hurt all over and no energy to spare. He was persistent, so off we went. In some ways, it felt good to had shifted into such a powerful winged being, relief in that way.
However, the journey was to take me back to places and experiences from childhood that I had chosen to not see before this moment. It wasn't the things that happened in my troubled childhood home as usually the past lends for my observations.
It was a review of the people that were watching or directly involved in my childhood experiences that didn't live in my home.
It seems that being born into a troubled and abusive family can have its own stigma. A mark of shame and dishonor as little girl broke my heart. I buried this dishonor so deep, it seemed unbearable as I couldn't do anything about what my neighbors, teachers, counselors or society were to think of me, assume about me and project on to me.
And I didn't know how it would silently influence and shape my vision of myself and life.
I buried it, but its grief has been a part of every decision I have made throughout my life.
My vision and dreams were the same theme.
My body is purging grief and not just for me, but for so many others like me.
I have been a warrior all my life and have overcome much in the way of relational wounds and serve to assist others who share my story. I know this is my story and now that it is up and revealing itself so powerfully I will listen, love and glean its wisdom and write on to a new beginning!
For now, though, my bodies wisdom is telling me that its time stop - shaping myself to fit someone else's definition of integrity and what's true and right.
Its purging still and I am in a deep sense of grief and the last few days crying uncontrollably with a even deeper sense of relief.
I am clear I cannot image myself into health, that will happen in its own time and I am relieved that fixing this is not my task. And that I have support.
I am also clear that in addition to revisiting what Integrity means to me I will be looking closely at what Leadership means to me. I believe as woman leader I have a responsibility to influence positive and prosperous changes taking place on the planet.
I think a lot of women agree with me and its reflected in the rising use of the term "the sacred feminine". I don't think we have it figured out, yet. I am a clairsentient reader and guide by natural abilities. I can see the past, present and future as one-time continuum. It's how I can see your blind spots in our coaching / reading sessions and know what to ask or say next to influence understanding etc..
Well, we are in a blind spot as women leaders and still much needs to shift within ourselves to influence the collective environment necessary for the masculine and feminine within us all to rise in the most positive and prosperous way.
I will be coming back on-line and serving again on Monday July 31st and my on-line classes will resume that week. My intuitive abilities are heightened and I am more passionate than ever about serving relationship intimacy and Love.
To Your Enduring Bliss and Love,
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