Inspiration to help you find your own way
Inspiration to help you find your own way
We are all tribal people and our well-being is intricately tied to connecting with others. It is often through relationships, especially intimate relationships, that we find meaning and purpose in our lives. Yet, for most of us, relationships are a struggle.
I have been there!
Now relationships are a gateway for my on-going transformation and deepening love affair with Life. My intimate relationships are powerful mirrors that constantly challenge me to take a personal responsibility for my life. They offer me tremendous opportunity for personal healing, growth and pleasure if I make a conscious choice to move in those directions.
I have always had many intimate relationships. They consist of class mates, business partners, girlfriends, guy friends, husband, children, clients, animal companions, nature, wild life, mother earth, my parents, siblings, my body, lovers, the Divine.
My list goes on!
Some relationships have been very painful and others sublime! All of them meaningful and enlightening.
Love is a powerful force in my life. When I didn't know how to handle its power, I would slip very quickly into misguided, and often painful ways of being. Love was the force that inevitably brought to the surface the parts of myself that I greatly tried to keep hidden. It was because of the closeness and the possibility of love in a relationship that these issues emerged for me. I often blamed my relationship problems on a lack of love, but it was actually the love in the relationship that had brought forth the issues.
My close relationships are a powerful source of light , and like any strong light it casts a large shadow. When I stood in the light of a close relationship, I had to consciously learn to be with the shadow and grow.
The purpose of all my relationships quickly revealed themselves as growth partnerships and the purpose of the growth was - self acceptance and love . When in that state I am easily able to show up as love in my relationships. I no longer need my relationships to give me love, instead I want to share in creating experiences of acceptance and deepening connection through growth. From this state of being it matters not how the other person, place or situation is showing up.
Like most people, my ego initially resisted the personal exploration necessary for a conscious relationship because it wanted to hold onto cherished beliefs about who I am, what is right, and what I need. I'd move toward love and suddenly my ego threw up walls.
The ego fears surrender-trusting . Our task in relationship is to consciously break through and remove the layers of masks we have put on to protect us from hurts, rejections, losses, and loneliness. Allowing ourselves to be shaken to our roots is a source of a growing relationship.
My genuine self longed for me to crack my hardened shells. In doing so I became free to experience all that is within me. In relationship not only are we challenged to face our most primitive feelings of longing, love, loss, rejection and fear, we are challenged to welcome feelings of power, creativity, passion and sensual pleasure.
Initially I was afraid of the expansive energy washing through my body, cracking the boundaries of my limitations, exposing me to my primal self. I had a choice to feel this energy or close down around it. To allow myself free-flowing energy I had to consciously surrender and trust in moment.
Being conscious in relationship became another way of me saying go slowly and be patient Cheryl. Staying conscious can be difficult because our survival instincts want to avoid discomfort and have things defined and settled. Crawling in love is about staying mindful and aware. Becoming comfortable being uncomfortable.
The work and magic happens in the moments of life. It is about going slowly enough to pay attention and hear the inner voice of wisdom when our ego wants to rationalize, analyze, and defend. When we go slowly in love we are more likely to deepen our bond through a variety of experiences over time.
I have worked with many powerful relationships in the midst of struggling ; parents and their child, long time married couples, business partners, someone who has lost their Faith. There is a moment when they first "wake up" and begin to notice the shadows at play in the dynamics. At first they feel confused and discouraged, then when the full extent of the issues are revealed it turns to despair. It's at this point the key choice occurs, to begin a conscious relationship where they move to a deeper level of intimacy through opening to growth, self-love, acceptance and choosing to share in deepening connection.
The conscious relationship coaching partnership supports you with learning how to:
Let me show you how your relationships can be a gateway for on-going transformation and deepening love affair with Life.
Email me now and schedule your complimentary 30 min breakthrough session!
In service to your relationship bliss,
Write something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview.